'Naughty! Naughty!'

Merlynda's Latest Collection of Hilariously Saucy & Sophisticated Comedy Poems For Adults! - many of which Merlynda has performed live for audiences at Poetry & Literary Festivals - Cabaret - and - Comedy Nights!

Price: £14.99 (inc P+P UK mainland)

Includes Merlynda's Popular Comedy Performance Poems 'Control Pants!' and 'I Hate Family!' - among many others!:

Control Pants! - by Merlynda Robinson (LLAM)

Control Pants!
Control Pants!
Look at me in my
Control Pants!
Can you See?
Can you Tell?
What is that burning rubber smell?
Control Pants!
Control Pants!
I’m trussed-up in
Control Pants!
Can’t you See?
Can’t you Tell?
They burn and chafe and ITCH LIKE HELL!
Control Pants!
Control Pants!
I’m getting NO SEX in
Control Pants!
Can you Tell
What’s wrong with me?
This rigidity
Means timidity
Frustration, deflation and FRIGIDITY!
Control Pants!
Control Pants!
Control Pants!
And I can See
Yes, I can I can Tell

(copyright protected LK Robinson 2018)


I Hate Family! - by Merlynda Robinson (LLAM)

I Hate Family!
The Whole Tribe Should Be SHOT!
From cousin Harold’s estranged wife
To bossy Auntie Dot!
From nosey, loose-lipped Elsie
To lecherous Uncle John!
You can line them up against the wall
And shoot them, one by one!

I Hate Family!
They ought to be deported!
From Granny Jones’ step-sister
To the niece the Press reported
From that bigoted, big-head Grandpa!
To that stubborn cousin ‘Pip’
You can line them up against the wall
And let yer machine gun rip!

I Hate Family!
Electrocute the mix!
From Mother’s endless cross-words
To Father’s politics!
From the ‘In-Laws’ with their sniping!
And those cousins who got hitched
PLEASE! - Hang them up along the grid
And throw the bloody switch!

I Hate Family!
The Whole Tribe Should Be Shot!
From sickly, wheezy William
(That’s the brother we forgot!)
From twittery, Great-Aunt Deirdre
To those miserable Grandchildren
PLEASE! - Line them up against the wall

(copyright protected LK Robinson 2018)


And Here are a few Examples of Merlynda's Romantic Love, Bereavement, Nature & Place-Inspired Poems - which are published in her Romantic Love Poetry Collections - and - appear in her Latest Romantic Love & Bereavement Poetry Collection inspired by her living and working in the mysterious village of Bucks Mills, North Devon, England - the Collection Title is:

'The Romance of Bucks Mills'

Price: £11.99 (inc P+P UK Mainland)


~ 'St Valentine’s Morn, Exmoor' ~

~ by ~

Merlynda Robinson (LLAM)


After a little while

We stand up, together

Embraced by a warming cloud

Of loveliest light Spring dew

The finest waterfall

Of tumbling thoughts

And dreams of quiet walks

Glide on the morning air

Together, on the moor.

Holding rosy hands

We decide our path ahead

Gazing down, sheer emeralds

Slopes, and crofts, and soft across

The amethyst heather quilts

We’ve nested love between

Here fewest trees are seen

To cast shade across our days

Together, on the moor.

A rising song unfurls

Clouds, our cottage chimney

Our sleeping child, peacefully

Lay still, her rising breath below

The high long ancient path we’ve took

Miles have passed as minutes

Towards sea brink and salty tears

(A few across our years)

Together, on the moor.

Topaz gorse gilds our path

Upwards, upwards to the cliffs

The effort steals our every breath

But rosy hands hold fast

You take me closer to a brink

Then Oh! - The shock to heart!

The drop! - Now other side

Delight, relief, arrives

We laugh together, on the moor.

The sparky March breeze cleans

The greens upon the curve

Brushing every stalk

Polishing like a maid

To serve for a pony’s feast

Or smooth a butterfly’s rest

So here - In Sunday best

We pray together, on the moor.

The spritely Kites appear

Anchoring to the winds

Their flickering rudder-tails

Busy about their meanderings.

Anxiously I turn

To gaze into your eyes

And there the love I gave

Returns a thousand times

Our Love will stay - forever

Forever - on the moor.


Poem by Merlynda Robinson (LLAM)

copyright protected by Merlynda Robinson 2017



 ~ ‘Breathless Love’ ~


Merlynda Robinson (LLAM)


If I Tell You

How I Love You

How You Tame My Heart

With Reason

How One Loving Glance

Enchants Me

How I’m Breathless

When You Hold Me

 If I Tell You

How I Seek You

In White Starlight

In Black Thunder

How I Race

To Hear Your Answer

How I’m Breathless

When You Call Me

Will You Let Me -

Let Me Bathe You

In My Wildwood Well Of Words

Those Cherished Precious Words

Rushing, Roaring From My Soul?

Darling, Darling

Will You Let Me -

Dress You Softly In My Dreams?

And With Yours Clothe Me - Clothe Me

Those Dreams That Others Stole

Let Me Tell You

How I Love You


Though Breathless May I Be:

While My World’s Within Your Arms

The Sun And Moon Belong To Me.


Poem by Merlynda Robinson (LLAM)

copyright protected Merlynda Robinson 2016



~ ' Fond Memories of my Milkman ' ~


Merlynda Robinson (LLAM)


~ My Love ~

In Summer’s morning mist

I see you stroll across

Our meadow buttercups

Bringing home the milk

The milk is warm and fresh

We kiss before we sit

And drink love from tea-cups

And taste the milk so sweet

~ My Love ~

If  I were to wake

And find you’d gone before

I’d wash and dress and wait

By our cottage kitchen door

And humming at the sill

I’d trace your path across

Bringing home the milk

Through timeless buttercups


Poem by Merlynda Robinson

copyright protected © Merlynda Robinson 2016